I hate tweens. There, I said it. I teach middle school and so at this point you probably think I'm a mean old grump just in it for the money. But the reality is that I'm smart and I teach 5th grade, the last grade before the terrible something that happens as kids transition to 6th grade. Call it puberty. Call it maturation. Call it whatever you want. It sucks.
There are so many reasons to hate tweens, so I'll only focus on a few. First, they are inconsiderate to all other human beings on earth except their bff's!!!!! Take for example how tweens can manage to get in your way even on an empty street. They're so self absorbed they can't even be bothered to look up from their tweets and texts and status updates. (Oh, you have an iphone? That's funny, because I'm 28 and I still can't afford one!) They crash into you. They make you play the zig zag game. They wander back in forth over the pavement like a drunk, never staying to one side long enough so you can scoot by. It makes you want to literally run them over with a steam shovel or something. I'm pretty sure even parents hate their tweens and wish they could give them back for a just a few years until they can function again normally in society. (Maybe I should open up some kind of tween donation center for those years? I could be on to something...)
Anyway, tweens also lose their command over the English language. They suddenly become incabable of forming more than 1 to 2 word sentences. "Do you want colored pencils or markers?" "Whatever." No, NOT, whatever, it's a question where you have to pick one, so pick one! Most of these teeny tiny sentences also come out in mumbles which just adds to the frustration. Tweens have no loss for words with friends. Which parents quickly find out when their cell bills go up $238,592 because their tween sent 334,434,232 texts and went over their hours so much it was like they used up two months in one.
Maybe it's just me, but when I was that age I spoke in full sentences, said thank you, played outside for days, stayed out of the way of adults, and respected the law of the land. I learned how to wait. I didn't have to be bribed. And best of all I could sustain my attention for more than a nano second. If technology is in fact supposed to be making us "smarter", what's the excuse behind this tween sensation?
There are so many reasons to hate tweens, so I'll only focus on a few. First, they are inconsiderate to all other human beings on earth except their bff's!!!!! Take for example how tweens can manage to get in your way even on an empty street. They're so self absorbed they can't even be bothered to look up from their tweets and texts and status updates. (Oh, you have an iphone? That's funny, because I'm 28 and I still can't afford one!) They crash into you. They make you play the zig zag game. They wander back in forth over the pavement like a drunk, never staying to one side long enough so you can scoot by. It makes you want to literally run them over with a steam shovel or something. I'm pretty sure even parents hate their tweens and wish they could give them back for a just a few years until they can function again normally in society. (Maybe I should open up some kind of tween donation center for those years? I could be on to something...)
Anyway, tweens also lose their command over the English language. They suddenly become incabable of forming more than 1 to 2 word sentences. "Do you want colored pencils or markers?" "Whatever." No, NOT, whatever, it's a question where you have to pick one, so pick one! Most of these teeny tiny sentences also come out in mumbles which just adds to the frustration. Tweens have no loss for words with friends. Which parents quickly find out when their cell bills go up $238,592 because their tween sent 334,434,232 texts and went over their hours so much it was like they used up two months in one.
Maybe it's just me, but when I was that age I spoke in full sentences, said thank you, played outside for days, stayed out of the way of adults, and respected the law of the land. I learned how to wait. I didn't have to be bribed. And best of all I could sustain my attention for more than a nano second. If technology is in fact supposed to be making us "smarter", what's the excuse behind this tween sensation?
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